Today I feel good. Really good. I want to paint the dining room, knit a sweater, bake bread, start some seeds. Um yeah, I suspect I’m riding the hormone wave of a nearly 50 year old woman. That’s okay too. I’ve always wondered about the thrill and danger of surfing.

Seriously though, I do feel good. So many of us talk on and on with friends, family, our blogs etc. about when we feel out of sorts  I am taking the opportunity to share some “in sorts”.

My son is back in school. Hurray! I know he will find his path there. There are so many great things to learn at a university, including outside the classroom. He really needs this exposure to the big world.

My daughter is also in school. Plugging away at a future career as a Pharmacist. Go Annie! She has also found the temporary job of her dreams. She is working in a yarn shop…close to home! Getting paid to knit! Wow! I am so excited for her.

My granddaughter is awesome, as always. Tomorrow I get to go to her school for a Valentine/friendship party. Then we are coming here to make heart cookies for Grandpa. I love being a Grandma. Can life get any better?

My hubby is also sunnier than usual. I’ve seen his sense of humor more in the last few weeks than I have in years. I have missed that.

I am feeling recharged lately. I have resolved to tackle my algebra phobia and am borrowing a very basic book from Lucy. Scott says every time I design a sweater I am using algebra. Cool! Maybe I can do it. I have also decided that this will be the year when I tackle knitting charts. They have always seemed ridiculously complicated, but Annie says they are not. I will trust her and go for it.

Today I am working on a hollow oak cable pattern in some cashmere I bought recently. I very soft pink. (Yeah, me, pink, go figure.) Hollow oak is a complicated pattern that I’ve always wanted to try. I have also had the insight recently that I can make a sample of something to try a new skill. I don’t need to commit to a huge project of time, money and brainwaves.

Oh the wisdom that comes with age. Maybe it’s the little things we learn with every wave surfed, whether they are in the oceans off Hawaii, or in the oceans of our minds. I’ll ride this one while it lasts and know I will get wet, but there will always be another wave.

January always brings a mood of reflection for me. It’s a new beginning. We all know it takes days to develop the habit of writing the new date/year. I try to work in a few other new habits as well. Yeah, we all go through the diet resolution or the quit this or that resolution. A while ago I resolved to quit making resolutions. I make reflections.

I want to think about and be aware of what other people see when they look at me, when we interact. Do they see what I want them to see? Is my body language sending the best “ME” information? What will people remember about me? This isn’t an ego trip. This is about making a difference while I’m still here, this time.

I used to feel insignificant. How can I, 1 person, make a difference at all? I know a lot of people feel this way, and there is much discussion to be heard about how every one of us can make a difference etc. I realized some time ago that what I do every day doesn’t have to be big. It doesn’t have to make CNN headlines and I don’t aspire to be their “Hero of the Year”. I do aspire to make 1 person smile. To ease their burden in some small way. To plant a seed of hope. To share some knowledge I’ve picked up along the way. I know then that 1 person will have a smile to share with someone else. Someone’s shoulders will ache a little less. Seeds of hope grow into big ideas. Maybe that seed will inspire a breakthrough in one of our global challenges de jour.

I want to be the pebble that is dropped into the still pond. The ripples ever widening, reaching all shores…eventually returning to stillness, reflecting.

Here are a few good reasons to slow down…

• We are coming up to the sloppy driving season here in the midwest. Slow down now, even if it’s just mentally. You will be much better prepared to handle the slippery roads. Even wet roads with all the leave falling are dangerous. Try stomping on the brakes on a city street covered with wet leaves.
• When we are constantly in a state of “Go”, chugging stimulants etc, our adrenal glands (responsible for our flight/fight response) are taxed all the time. How can we expect the reaction nature intended in an emergency when we are artificially creating it everyday? This can take a serious toll on the well being of our whole body.
• What are we missing? We’ve all heard the expression, “Stop and smell the roses”. At this time of the year it might be, “stop and notice the colorful display that nature has provided”. Next time you are driving, notice the leaves instead of being irritated at the car in front of you that is going slightly less than 10 mph over the speed limit.
• When is the last time you used all of your senses during a meal? We drive through and slam down while driving. This doesn’t even qualify as fueling our bodies. We have quick oats and instant mashed potatoes. Ewww! This is filling the “pie hole” because we don’t like the empty feeling.  When we enjoy a meal, we see the food, smell the food, taste the food and feel it warming and energizing our bodies. When you slow down and notice what you are putting in your body, you will find that you actually need less calories than you think. You will become full sooner because the whole experience of enjoying a meal satisfies more completely than stuffing down 2000 calories of burger, fries, shake etc. Have you ever noticed that when you share a meal with someone whose company you enjoy; talking as you go, you end up eating way less than you thought you would. The conversation and their company nourishes you and fills you up.
• We are all changing, aging and growing every day. I will not be the same person tomorrow that I was today. Neither will our children, or our loved ones. What are they trying to tell you today that you’ll wonder about tomorrow? Stop, look them in the eye and listen with your heart. Do this every day and you will have no regrets.
• Productivity is important, yes. As incredible as our bodies and minds are, our expectations for production of goods and services is way too high. Mistakes are made. Care isn’t taken. Quality suffers. How does this effect your “bottom line”?

I don’t know what made me think of this post this morning. I guess I was making my list for today. While listing, I talked to my daughter on the phone in typical whirlwind fashion. At the same time kissed my husband goodbye, fed the dogs, unloaded the dishwasher and poured another cup of sugared up stimulant. I then went to chat with Julie online. Every day I ask her, “what’s on your list today”. Then I thought, why do I need a list. Why am I forcing a list on her?

I don’t want to hit some old age down the road and wonder what happened to my life. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to do stuff. I’ll probably always make lists. That’s just me. I am going to change my expectations for myself. I am going to enjoy every moment and remember them all. I am going to slow down.

Pretend cooking is one of her favorite things to play at my house. We get out pans and wooden spoons and ingredients like oatmeal, peanut butter, breadcrumbs, various canned goods and cookie sprinkles. She has a little white chef hat and apron with matching pot holders. We have 2 8.5×11 pieces of paper taped together with circles drawn on them for a stove and the oven is under my recliner. One of her favorite things to make is muffins and cupcakes.

really cooking with GiGi

She was working particularly hard on a recipe last night and she asked me to taste it. I took the wooden spoon from her and pretended to slurp. “Oh delicious!” I exclaimed. “What do you call this recipe?” She took a few seconds, but then spit out, “Saltmacasagna”. Grandpa snickered. “Oh my!” (I was clearly caught off guard with that one). So I repeated the name, “saltcamazagna?” “No GiGI, salt-ma-ca-sag-na”. Shes saying the word like lasagna. She made sure I had the pronunciation just right. ” Well what is in saltmacasagna?”, I asked. “Oh peanut butter and oatmeal, and raisins and sugar and eggs…” It needed to cook for 42 seconds. Sounds good to me! Grandpa tasted it too and approved.

She is coming over again on Sunday. I am going to have the stuff to make peanut butter cookies ready. I’m sure she would agree that with a few tweaks, we’ll have saltmacasagna. We’ll write it down and publish it asap. I know you’ll all be wanting to make a batch. And her cookbook will be out in 2012!

Sometimes these things happen. Rarely all at the same time, mind you. Only in the world of Martha is this the norm, and most nice hotels. I used to know a woman and her friends that called themselves the “Martha Wannabees”. Let’s remember, Martha has a staff of hundreds and she screams at all of them!

Those of you who wonder who the heck Erma is should read some of her books. Erma Bombeck was a woman with a great sense of humor and reality. She had a family, a career, and made them work together. Sadly, she is gone. Every young mom should know Erma. Look up her books!

From my perspective, Erma did her best, but realized very early, that some of the standards set by society were ridiculous. The “Father Knows Best” show and the Donna Reeds of TV land had everyone from that era scrambling to keep the perfect house/garden with the perfect husband and the perfect kids. Not to mention “The Waltons”! Oh how I tried sooo hard to be just like Olivia. Then I met Erma (well in print anyway).

I have been accused of “psycho cleaning” by my son. I’m sure this was in the spring and I realized that I either needed to spin the cobwebs and knit them into pot holders or suck them up. I have also been known to say, “Move kid, ’cause Kirby here takes no prisoners”. (the “kid” being 23)

Although I clean everyday, I do admit to soap scum and mildew in the shower (gasp!), dust bunnies the size of the cat under the bed (no!) and some unidentified smell in the fridge that I just can’t find and get rid of. I do my best almost every day. It’s my job. I like taking care of my family. But I would be a raving psycho witch if I tried to keep Martha’s standards so I find ways to laugh about it all, like Erma suggested.

I guess I’m somewhere in between. And really, isn’t that a good place to strive to be? Everything in moderation? There is such a thing as clean enough. And that’s “A Good Thing”.